The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Oh god it's open bar.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
The adults are the big ones right?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
