Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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