i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
