Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
