You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
There's always time for handjobs
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Randomize
