come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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