every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
no, he came in my armpit
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
