I feel great
I just peed on a car
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
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How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
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When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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