That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
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All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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