I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Randomize
