I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
