Duck Duck Cougar?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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