Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
