walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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