Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I need to stop coming to work sober
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
