Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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