ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
