I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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