I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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