Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
