Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize