nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
MIDGETS
????
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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