Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
