she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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