Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
