I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
