The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
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