Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
