just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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