i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
