we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
