I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
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