real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Randomize