what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Randomize
