By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
