i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Do vagina's smell?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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