i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
