The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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