ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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