Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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