She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
