I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
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You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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