Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
