when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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