So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
