He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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