we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Semen is not good for contacts.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
