I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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