I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
