Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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