After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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