Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
