So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
