Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
