wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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