We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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