Already got asked if we're dating
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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