butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
