this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
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You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
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Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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