hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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