Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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