after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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